I hate the way that America is. I hate that I am forced to live in such a superficial and artificial society. A place that I have called home for my entire life. A place that has embedded this unrealistic vision of beauty into my unfathomable mind.
I went Black-Friday shopping yesterday with my family. All fun and games at first. Until about the 20th pair of jeans I tried on. I sat there. Still and defeated, with a pile of incompatible clothing and pondered a sudden reversion to my 14 year-old anorexic self. I just sat there like a bloody moron in the dressing room of who-know-what store nearly in tears because I don’t have a body that is flattering in any way what so ever. And many will argue this, even me on a good day. But just for that moment I was defeated, devastated and completely disgusted with what I was when I looked in the mirror.
Look, I know I am not this insanely skinny girl, and in all honesty, I don’t want to be. However, I work and I try to be as fit as I can be or as fit as I once was and it seems almost like nothing seems to help this ridiculous body image that I value so much. I am 5’2” and nearly 130lbs. Not overweight, but I am definitely figured compared to “most” in my height range. I’m not saying I am not attractive. I am simply stating that this society is bloody murderous when it can so unwillingly and nonchalantly destroy a girls every fiber just because she has a moment of weakness and cant look in the mirror and see how beautiful she really is.
I currently have two photo projects going for my final projects.
The first is a photographic book “Confessions of Beauty” to go along with a speech on body image I am giving in my communications class.
The second is a modern-day fairy tale series; which I am doing for my final portfolio in my photo class. (This one I am REALLY excited about…nervous that the images wont come out as awesome as I hope though:/…)
All of this is awesome, and I am excited to shoot. If only I could find models, or they would stop bailing out on me -________-…
Good luck all on finals!
I am all hyped up and excited to be shooting for my final project.
Some fairy-tales are going to be revamped=p
Here’s to hoping it all plays out well.
I find this a HUGE bummer and a slightly bothering, though I understand the reasons behind everything. I have some awesome images that I am dying to share with you guys that I took of a beautiful model as a set for her boyfriend. They are rather sexy and implied, but they came out amazing. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the models occupation, I was asked by her superiors to keep the images private.
I am insanely bummed…