Unscripted

I hate the way that America is.  I hate that I am forced to live in such a superficial and artificial society.  A place that I have called home for my entire life.  A place that has embedded this unrealistic vision of beauty into my unfathomable mind.  

I went Black-Friday shopping yesterday with my family.  All fun and games at first.  Until about the 20th pair of jeans I tried on.  I sat there.  Still and defeated, with a pile of incompatible clothing and pondered a sudden reversion to my 14 year-old anorexic self.   I just sat there like a bloody moron in the dressing room of who-know-what store nearly in tears because I don’t have a body that is flattering in any way what so ever.  And many will argue this, even me on a good day.  But just for that moment I was defeated, devastated and completely disgusted with what I was when I looked in the mirror.  

Look, I know I am not this insanely skinny girl, and in all honesty, I don’t want to be.  However, I work and I try to be as fit as I can be or as fit as I once was and it seems almost like nothing seems to help this ridiculous body image that I value so much.  I am 5’2” and nearly 130lbs.  Not overweight, but I am definitely figured compared to “most” in my height range.  I’m not saying I am not attractive.  I am simply stating that this society is bloody murderous when it can so unwillingly and nonchalantly destroy a girls every fiber just because she has a moment of weakness and cant look in the mirror and see how beautiful she really is.

I currently have two photo projects going for my final projects.
The first is a photographic book “Confessions of Beauty” to go along with a speech on body image I am giving in my communications class.
The second is a modern-day fairy tale series; which I am doing for my final portfolio in my photo class.  (This one I am REALLY excited about…nervous that the images wont come out as awesome as I hope though:/…)

All of this is awesome, and I am excited to shoot.  If only I could find models, or they would stop bailing out on me -________-…

Good luck all on finals!  

I am all hyped up and excited to be shooting for my final project.  
Some fairy-tales are going to be revamped=p
Here’s to hoping it all plays out well.

I find this a HUGE bummer and a slightly bothering, though I understand the reasons behind everything.   I have some awesome images that I am dying to share with you guys that I took of a beautiful model as a set for her boyfriend.  They are rather sexy and implied, but they came out amazing.  Unfortunately, due to the nature of the models occupation, I was asked by her superiors to keep the images private.  

I am insanely bummed…